On books for lost 20-something girls

Early 20’s are a time of self-discovery and often of self-loss. Luckily, when it seems that no one else can understand what you’re going through, there are always books. Having gone through that awkward period of no direction and feelings of failure, I know that there are some books that can help quite a bit. Here are a few to help through this period of changes and discoveries:

• The Edible Woman by Margaret Atwood - Everyone is talking about Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale right now (and for good reason), but for me, this book packed more of a punch. The book follows a young woman in the 1960’s as she has a mental breakdown and completely changes the direction of her life. It’s fascinating, it’s relatable, and it made me feel a lot less crazy when I was going through some tough times.

• Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell - This was fun and quick read, but it also brought up a lot of familiar feelings for me. Cath is a college freshman who is having a difficult time adjusting, something that many of us can relate to. This book is pretty light, while still managing to address some serious issues.

• Woman No. 17 by Edan Lepucki - What a dark book, but what a wonderful one. Esther is trying to figure out her next steps after graduating college and being ghosted by her college boyfriend - and turning into her mother is her newest art project. This is an interesting book about women’s relationships with each other and with their mothers. It’s also quite a bit about not knowing what you’re doing with your life after big changes.

• Treasure Island!!! By Sara Levine - This book is much sillier than the others on this list and (in some ways) much more shocking. A young woman who is seeking direction after college finds inspiration in Robert Louis Stevenson’s Treasure Island and begins living her life after Jim Hawkins’ principles and example. It’s a good story to give directionless folks a character to relate to (and one who will make them feel better about their own position).

What books would you add to this list? What books have helped lost 20-somethings you know?

Dear You: Under Pressure

Dear You,

You’ve got a lot on your plate. I know that. Everyone’s on your case, asking why you don’t have a girlfriend, asking what you’re going to study, asking why you’re still living at home, asking where you’ll move after graduation, asking if you’re going to keep managing the front desk at the gym forever. Everyone has an idea about what you should be doing with your life - except you. And that can feel like a lot to handle sometimes. I’ve been there - I get it.

I’ve been thinking about what would help you and I’ve decided that you need someone to relate to you and to understand instead of constantly berating you for not having things figured out. I think Greg Gaines from Me, Earl, and the Dying Girl by Jesse Andrews might get it to some extent. He’s trying so hard to fit in, but his mom is pressuring him to befriend this sick girl and then there’s school to keep up on and college to figure out….it’s a lot. And Cath from Rainbow Rowell’s Fangirl understands trying to strike out on your own and how lonely and confusing that can be. She’s not much like you, but I think she gets having a tough first year of college and it might be good for the two of you to commiserate together. And I can’t forget Ed Kennedy (I Am the Messenger by Markus Zusack), who desperately wants the girl, but can’t get motivated to make anything happen anywhere in his life - he’s got a dead-end job and a tiny group of friends that he can’t break away from, but that hold him back more than he knows. Sounds a bit like you.

I hope they help you. But either way, I’ve got something else that might be of assistance. Here’s that CD I’ve been promising you for ages. Let me know how everything goes. And good luck.

Love, Anna